October's Book Club Pick: "Permission to Parent"
October 2021: Permission to Parent
by Robin Berman MD (Author)
After being bombarded by parenting fad after parenting fad, moms and dads finally have a friendly, commonsense guide to raising thriving children.
Today, many parents have rejected the dictatorships they resented from their own childhoods. But they overcorrected by turning into child-pleasers. Showering praise and letting kids rule the roost has actually eroded the very self-esteem parents are trying to create.
Using her clinical experience, psychiatrist Robin Berman shows parents how they can take charge while building a loving family with deep connections. How children learn love and respect at home becomes the template for how they show love and respect in life. It’s a huge task, but Dr. Berman is your ally every step of the way.
Every parent’s struggles are reflected (many of them comically), but so are heartwarming triumphs. Parents, teachers and children themselves recount turning points at which they figured out what great parenting looked like and the magic it unlocked.
This engaging book—a perfect mix of medical research and inspirational anecdotes—just might be the key to being the parent you want to be and the parent your children need.
Discussion Points:
Ten Tips from Permission to Parent: What do you find difficult? What is an area you feel like you are good at?
Parenting is not a democracy. Rules make kids feel safe.
Don’t be emotionally bullied by your child. Emotionally wimpy parenting leads to emotionally fragile kids.
A child who has too much power often becomes anxious.
Catering to your child’s every whim can lead to a child who is self-centered and lacks empathy.
Look long-term at a child who hasn’t faced consequences for behavior and, therefore, never learned accountability: Would you want to date this person as an adult?
If you say, “If you do that one more time,” mean it. Consistent follow-through is essential for a child’s emotional safety and your sanity.
Keep your eye on the long-term goal of raising a lovely child. Remember your mantra: Hate me now, thank me later.
Talk less, give fewer choices, keep it simple. Less is clearly more.
No is a complete sentence. No does not begin a negotiation.
Reverse negotiate. The more they argue, the less they get. It works like a charm.