What is Conscious Discipline?
Conscious Discipline
By Family Education
What is Conscious Discipline?
Conscious Discipline is an evidence-based, trauma-informed approach.
Heather Wallace, a coach and mentor for positive parenting approaches, explains: “Conscious Discipline is a social-emotional program that teaches children how to regulate and manage emotions in order to make safe and healthy choices. But the focus FIRST is on parents.”
Conscious Discipline teaches adults to control their own emotional responses to children so they can stay present at the moment, connect with the child, and then work through the feelings the child is having together.
Conscious Discipline can take the frustration and feelings of powerlessness out of every day parenting moments and turn them into teachable moments instead.
Seven Skills of Discipline have evolved from the Seven Powers for Conscious Adults. The skills are:
Composure
Encouragement
Assertiveness
Choices
Empathy
Positive Intent
Consequences
Creating a “safe place'' for your child is a key component for Conscious Discipline. A Safe Place is NOT a time-out. Instead, this is a designated space that you go to with your child to help them change their inner state from upset to composed. This space can be something like a cozy corner, a beanbag chair, or a soft mat. Here you encourage your child to breathe or use a calming tool. This is a place to practice getting outside of the big emotions, and it’s a space that you can encourage your child to visit when they feel sad, angry, or frustrated.
What are some Conscious Discipline strategies that parents can try right away?
Model the behavior you would like to see by displaying self-control during difficult moments and when you feel triggered by children’s behavior.
Take the time to understand the developmental stage that your child is in so you can consider how things feel from her perspective.
Tell children what they should do in a clear way rather than focusing on what they should not do. (For example, refrain from giving directions that start with Don’t, Stop, or No.)
When children are acting bossy or unkind to others, always give your attention to the victim first to empower them to learn how to deal with the situation. Then turn to the child who is acting unkindly and help her practice clear limits and how to communicate in a more helpful way.
When children appear to not be listening to you, instead of yelling at them to get their attention, go to them instead and make eye contact to form a connection.
By helping your child develop social-emotional skills, you are equipping them with tools that can help them thrive and learn. You are also bettering your personal social-emotional skills through the Conscious Discipline approach. As a whole, your family environment can feel stronger, calmer, and more connected by implementing Conscious Discipline in your home.
Photography by Katelyn Vines Photography