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What We're Reading in April

April’s book pick has been a longtime favorite of mine. It’s been revolutionary in my marriage, my family relationships, friendships, and time in the classroom. We rely on the Love Languages quiz as a part of our family intake process. This gives parents a framework on how best to connect with your children.

April’s Book Pick: “The 5 Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

The Five Love Languages:

According to the authors, The 5 Love Languages of Children are:

1) physical touch,
2) words of affirmation,
3) quality time,
4) gifts, and
5) acts of service

One of those five is the primary love language.

If you don’t speak that language, your child will not feel loved, no matter how much love you show them in other ways. I have discovered with my own students that most of them are “bilingual,” to keep with the language metaphor. Yes, one love language does inch out the others, but all my kiddos have a second language that is almost as strong.

Ideas to Show Love in Each Language:

Care for the Family had some great ideas for each language:

Once you think you’ve figured out what your child’s love language is, focus on showing your love for them in that way during the rest of the holiday.

Some ideas to get you started:

Affirming words

  • Compliment and praise them for specific things – “Your hair really looks nice today!”, “You did really well at that!”

  • Put encouraging notes for them to find around the house.

  • Say positive things about them to others and let them overhear.

  • Send notes, emails or texts each day if you are away.

Quality time

  • Talk together one-to-one.

  • Give them your undivided attention – bedtime stories games together, kicking a ball in the garden

  • Go on a ‘date’ together, for example a walk, shopping, a trip to the cinema, or a visit to a coffee shop.

  • Do chores together.

Gifts

  • Leave an unexpected treat in their bag or under their pillow.

  • Give them a small gift after a particularly challenging time.

  • Mail them small gifts when you are away.

  • Make sure you express your love verbally or in writing with the gift.

Acts of service

  • Mend a broken toy, gadget or piece of clothing.

  • Take their turn on the washing up rota and tell them that you love them.

  • Support them in a hobby or skill.

  • Make a favourite meal as a surprise.

Physical touch

  • Give them frequent hugs, kisses and pats on the back.

  • Cuddle up under a blanket to watch TV.

  • Roll around wildly together over a sea of cushions.

  • Tickle them or have ‘tickling fights’.

As you focus in on your child’s love language, you will hopefully find that they really respond as they feel especially loved. But remember that while one way might be particularly meaningful for them, it’s still important to show them our love in all five ways.


Family Discussion Questions

Want to take it to the next level? Download the discussion questions in the PDF below and introduce the language around the dinner table this month.

Access Discussion Questions here.