Understanding Anxiety (With Atlanta Psychologist Dr. Anna Stagg)

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Atlanta Psychologist, Anna Stagg, a practicing associate at Edwards Psych. Dr. Stagg specializes in working with adolescents (along with their parents/caregivers) and young adults. Please feel free to get in touch with Dr. Stagg directly (her website with contact information and services are listed at the end of this post).

Anxiety and Adolescents:

Adolescence may be a time of increasing anxiety for many, as academic and extracurricular demands increase, their social worlds become increasingly complex, and their brains and bodies undergo many changes. Parents often want to understand what level of anxiety is considered “normal”, or when their child is showing signs of anxiety that may require extra support or intervention. While it is important to keep in mind that anxiety can present in different ways and there are different types of anxiety disorders, the following signs and symptoms might indicate that your child is experiencing anxiety:

-Excessive worry (difficult to control, focus of worry shifts easily, in absence of or out of proportion to actual threat)

-Fatigue

-Restlessness or edginess

-Sleep difficulties/changes

-Impaired concentration or mind feeling blank

-Irritability (may or may not be outwardly visible)

Tips for Supporting Anxious Adolescents:

• Remember anxiety is not the enemy. Everyone experiences anxiety at times. It is actually adaptive in the sense that it can help us function in ways that the situation demands—it can serve as an “internal alarm system” that prepares us for action when we experience a threat, or in less extreme and more common situations, it may motivates us to study for an important test, to have a conversation with a friend about something that has been bothering us, or stops us from doing something that is potentially dangerous. It however becomes problematic when the level of anxiety/degree of our response doesn’t match the intensity of the situation, or leads us to avoid situations and experiences that may be challenging but are actually safe (such as asking for help, giving a class presentation, or attending a social event). Support your adolescent in taking these safe risks and reinforce their efforts to approach these fears, as this may start to shift their beliefs by helping them recognize that the outcome was not the “worst case scenario” they feared, and may have even been a positive one.

• Model healthy coping strategies, both through your behaviors and the way you talk about your experiences. Talk openly about how you take care of yourself when you feel anxious (e.g., self-soothing, exercise, seeking support from others), solve problems, or have changed your perspective on a situation by thinking about it in a different way.

• Encourage adolescents to be mindful of the relationship between the way they take care of themselves physically (exercise, diet, sleep, caffeine or substance use) and how they feel emotionally. Making changes to the way they take care of their bodies may reduce their vulnerability to anxiety.

• If your adolescent’s anxiety or other mood symptom appears to be significantly impacting day to day functioning, seem out of proportion to the triggering event(s), or if you notice significant changes that elevate your concern (such as school refusal, changes in appetite or weight, sleep patterns, reduced interest or involvement in extracurricular activities, social engagement) it may be time to consider seeking professional advice and support. Talk to your adolescent about whether this is something he/she/they are open to trying—you do not need to wait (nor do we encourage you to wait) for a crisis before seeking support. Therapy is a great opportunity to learn skills to manage anxiety proactively.

General Tips for Connecting with and Supporting Your Adolescent:

Many parents of my clients seek guidance on ways to improve their relationship with their adolescent, as it is common for the parent-child relationship to shift during this developmental period.  Below are some of the most effective ways to build connection, regardless of your child’s mental health status. 

Reflect and validate:  We often feel compelled to “fix” things by offering advice and possible solutions to problems. While this clearly comes from a place of love, you might notice that your adolescent shuts down and withdraws from the conversation, resists your input or feedback by telling your suggestions won’t work or help, or directly expresses that you “don’t get it.” Instead of trying to offer support by expressing that you do understand or have experienced similar stressors, instead try reflecting back what you hear being expressed (e.g., “Things seem really overwhelming right now”, “You feel like you have so much work to do and are unsure how to get everything done”, “You wish your friend would make more of an effort”, “It feels like your teacher is being unreasonable”) and offer validation. What is validation, you ask? It does not mean agreeing with what is said  (meaning you don’t have to say “You’re right to be angry, your teacher is the worst!”) but instead expressing that it makes sense to you or is understandable to feel the way that way ( such as “ That sounds really hurtful. I can understand why you’re feeling sad,” or even “It makes sense that you’re feeling so angry, you never expected your friend would do/say that.”)  These skills are some of the best tools you can develop to help you truly connect with your adolescent. Feeling heard and understood increases the likelihood of your adolescent asking for your help or advice and coming to you for support in the future. 

Increase connection to increase communication: Questioning your adolescent about school, extracurriculars, or friends as soon as you pick them up or sit down at the dinner table may feel like a way to enter into their world, but can sometimes backfire .  While some may appreciate you following up about a specific event previously shared with you, many express feeling worn out or overwhelmed at the end of the day and the experience of being “interviewed” by their parent(s) may actually leads to more negative interactions or elicit emotions related to stressors they’d prefer not rehash at that time. Instead, find ways to focus on connecting with your adolescent that are enjoyable for them—whether listening to their favorite music or sharing a podcast episode on the drive, watching a show together in the evening, going on a walk (even if they insist on having their airpods in), or sharing a favorite snack or meal together. Don’t underestimate the power of your physical presence during these conjoint activities--you may be surprised that as you ask fewer questions and focus on joining them in their interests, more open communication will follow. 

Support the Development of the Adolescent Brain: The prefrontal cortex, the region of the frontal lobes involved in decision making (including considering consequences of actions), emotion modulation, impulse inhibition, and many other critical functions, is still developing in adolescents (and into early adulthood!). You can support your child’s brain development by asking questions to help them think through potential solutions to problems and associated outcomes, or to consider the effect of their decisions or behaviors for themselves and others.

Anna Stagg, PhD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice, who specializes in working with adolescents (along with their parents/caregivers) and young adults. To learn more about her practice, please visit Edwards Psych Associates (https://edwardspsychassociates.com/).