Waiting for Decision Day

Written by Parent and Family Coach, Sharon Egan

Waiting for Decision Day

You poured your heart and soul into your search for the best school for your child to attend in the fall. You and your child worked diligently and put long hours in to get to this point. Tours, meetings, essays, interviews and testing are complete! Woohoo!

Now……”The Wait!”!

A few short weeks can often feel like months!

You and your child are waiting with great anticipation for decision day to arrive.

This time can be filled with excitement, anxiety, overwhelm and fear just to name a few of the roller coaster emotions you and your child will likely experience before the big day.

What schools will my child be accepted to?

What if she doesn’t get in to her favorite?

What will other parents think if he doesn’t get in?

What happens if my child cannot attend the same school as all of his friends?

Here are a few tips to keep you light on your feet while keeping those nagging, stressful feelings at bay.

First, take a deep breath!! Take a moment…close your eyes, breathe deeply. Inhale, filling your belly like a balloon while slowly counting to 5. Now exhale through your mouth while slowly counting to 5. 

Celebrate with your child for making it to this point. The private school application process is an accomplishment! Acknowledge their perseverance and diligence with specific words of encouragement (and give kudos to yourself, too ☺). 

Know what you can absolutely control and be okay with what you cannot control. 

You and your child were able to control the application process. You are now in control of how you choose to use this waiting time. Will you choose to add stress to your day and to that of your child by analyzing every aspect of this process OR will you choose to take a deep breath, find joy in each day and look forward to decision day?  

Keep an open mind.  Remind yourself that a school’s selection process is to ensure their academic institution is a good match for your child. Not every school is for every child and not every child is for every school. 

A very wise mother and client of mine created her own mantra to maintain a healthy perspective about decision day. Instead of focusing on where her child would or would not be accepted, she re-framed it telling herself and her daughter,

“I am so excited to see what school is the best fit for you.”

Live in the moment. Focus each day finding special time for yourself, with your child and with your family.

Think of this waiting period as a vacation from all of the work that went into this. There is nothing more effective to gain a healthy perspective and to decompress than some TLC.

What is something you would love to do for yourself but instead tell yourself you don’t have time? Bubble bath; a good book; a hike; date night? I challenge you to come up with 5 ways that would fill you up. 

Your energy has a direct impact on your child and your family.

How can you spend time with your kids that would fill them up? What says to them, “I love being with you! I am proud of you”? Imagine how they will feel.  This is a stressful time for your kids, too. And it is important to remember that this process and their future education is for them (even though at times you may feel this is for or about you). 

Your children must feel accepted, understood, supported, and OKAY no matter what school they attend in the fall. No blame, no shame. Just complete unconditional love and acceptance.

Children believe about themselves what they believe you believe about them.

This is the first and most proactive step you can take to create a foundation of success for your child at their new school.

No matter what happens, your child needs to know the school they attend is the best fit for them and that they can succeed.

Here is what one mom wrote after her daughter did not get into one school she applied to:

“I'm so glad we dodged the decision bullet by not getting into any other school !!  She is halfway through 7th grade and this school is the best ever. The school leadership and teachers are really fantastic, the school community is warm, the academic education is high quality, the music program is excellent, there are plenty of after-school extracurricular activities from sports an active Latin Club. She comes home every damn day chattering about school, is always happy to return each morning, and glad to get back after vacations.”

I am a firm believer in silver linings. You can be too! You just have to choose to be.

Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Want to learn more of Sharon’s tips and tricks? Check out her website at: www.parentingforhappyfamilies.com