7 Tips for Surviving the Unstructured Days of Summer
From Sharon:
Ahhhhhh….. summer time! Here at last! Finally, a much needed break from the ringing of the pre-dawn alarm clocks, nagging the kids to get their homework done and rushing from one activity to another. But wait…that also means saying goodbye to the comfort of order and structure that keeps us moving and shaking and the flow going.
Lazy mornings, sleep overs, pool days, and lightning bug captures are all part of summer’s thrills and wonders. If we are being honest though, summer fun and frolic can also throw a wrench into our security blanket of our routines and our checklists, too!
Seriously, when will we get the shopping and laundry done?
What can parents to do to keep sane during the next few months of unstructured days and weeks?
Below are 7 simple yet life saving tips to keeping summer manageable, orderly (at least somewhat), and most of all FUN!
1. Get mentally prepared. Are you fearing the chaos that unstructured days of summer may bring or are you embracing summer as a time to relax, to be playful and to connect with your child(ren)? Your outlook will have an enormous impact on the outcome of your summer time joys and laughter. Your children, in their attitude and behavior, will match the energy you bring to each new day. The choice is yours.
2. Be flexible. Summer activities often yield spur-of-the-moment decisions (and changes), opportunities for adventure and what every parent loves, later bedtimes. LOL A little flexibility on your part can go a long way with your child, yielding to more cooperation in the long run. When your child sees that you are willing to be spontaneous, have fun and even loosen the limits at times, your child is much more likely to think you are one cool parent that remembers what it’s like to be a kid. Then, when it is just not possible to let your child to accept a last minute invitation or the situation calls for order, structure and “rule” following, your child is much more likely to follow along with a good attitude.
3. State expectations ahead of time. Prepare your child(ren) in advance of what your expectations are- at the store, at the pool, on the airplane, at grandmas, during sleepovers etc.. – HINT- Questions work wonders and keep your child engaged and thinking!! “We have 2 hours at the pool today. When adult swim is called at 3:00 pm, what does that mean for us? Exactly- time to gather all of our belongings and head on home. And when we get home what will you do before you have your snack? You rock Yes! Hang up your towel outside to dry!” “There are going to be long lines, which means lots of waiting for rides at Disney World. What do you think you can do to entertain yourself in the line?”
4. Build some structure into your summer days. Although summer is a great time to be lazy, to be spontaneous and to toss schedules to the wind, it is also important to maintain some structure and order in your family’s daily routine. Security in knowing that certain things will happen each day or each week is very comforting and will result in children that are more relaxed and cooperative. What part of the day is important to your family to keep in your daily routine? Reading time; family dinners; family walks; game night; chores (see #5 & #6 below); snuggles and giggles; all of the above?
5. Know your limits and stick to them- (Remember to weave in some flexibility when the situation calls for it!) How many sleepovers in a week? What chores need to get done BEFORE pool time? What is the agreed amount of screen time per day/week? What snacks are your children welcome to pack for camp? You get the idea- now read #6.
6. “You may……I will…….”- Use this line and keep everyone in line! *For those of you that are familiar with the Love and Logic® philosophy, they call this the Enforceable Statement. Telling your child what you are willing to do (vs. what you will not do) and what he is welcome to do (vs. what he may not do) creates a healthy balance of control between you and your child, keeps your communication positive and encourages your child to listen and ultimately to choose wisely. “I will take you to the pool once the toys have been put away.” ” “You may take potato chips or popcorn to camp today.” “I will do the laundry that gets put into the laundry room.” “You may have another sleepover next week. You have used your 2 for this week.”
7. Allow ample time for your child TO get bored. Give yourself permission NOT to over schedule your child, NOT to be her social director, and NOT to give in when he begs for more screen time. Boredom is a wonderful way for your child to be creative, to explore, to discover new interests and talents, to dream, to be self-directed, to manage emotions and to develop life skills (which by the way, will lead to more success in the classroom).